We’re growing up thinking that the world is as big as the size of our schoolyard and when that one person in ninth grade didn’t like us back, we instantly thought that no one ever would. How those small fragment of moments seem so irrelevant now when we’re older with a bigger perspective on things. Because a part of me wants to go back to that girl in ninth grade, take a piece of my shirt and wipe her tears. Tell her to save them for more important things than boys. I want to shake her shoulders, make her stand up tall and promise her that everything will be okay. That she will find a place to call home and she will find people that will become a part of her journey. I would tell her to be patient, and to not worry so much over what’s happening around her and to focus on herself. But when you’re in ninth grade it’s hard to abandon your feelings without tasting them first.
To transform question marks into exclamation points has always been a mission of mine, and by moving across the globe I quickly realized that life is so much bigger than myself. It’s okay to not have everything figured out when you’re in your early twenties. That these years are for exploring and to live in the moment, to save your faded photographs for a rainy day and to go out and seek new places and turn those moments into memories. Believe me, fifteen year old me would never predict the future of mine that suddenly is the moment I am living in.
One of the most important things I’ve learned so far is that you’re not the clothes you wear or the country you’re from. You’re not your religion nor are you the language you speak. You’re not the things people are saying about you and you’re definitely not the grades you receive on a piece of paper at the end of the school year.
But instead, you’re your actions.
You’re the words you choose and the vibes you radiate. You’re that smile you brought upon someone you just met and you’re that grain of hope that was planted inside a couple of strangers whom needed it the most. Because you’re not the books you read, but instead what you take away from them and you’re not the music you listen to, but the interpretation of the lyrics.
You’re so much more than that sad song that is flushed out when things doesn’t seem to go your way. You’re what you do with everything that is flowing around you, which means that you’re technically everything you can control.
When you’re fifteen you might think that the schoolyard is your entire world, but I hope you understand now that it was simply just the starting point.